Love to walk, do not like running. My body rebels and yet I push it to like running. Why? Something else to master? What happens if I don’t? Nothing. Or maybe I will think I’ve not succeeded at something? Oh well, it happens every day. When will I be happy with me? This is not a pity/poor me thing. Rather it is a recognition of my need to drive myself to succeed at things. When will I be content? Where does the restlessness come from? When will being me be enough? All these questions. Answers changing all the time. Working on self-acceptance. Many have written on this and I have nothing particularly new to add. It is a process and like my thoughts, the process varies day to day. In yoga teacher training we were taught various meditations. In studying I’ve read several variations of this one.
May you and I be healthy.
May you and I be safe.
May you and I be happy.
May you and I live with ease.
These are things that I wish and pray for for my family and friends. These are the things that I wish for all people. These are the things that matter. I will work on running. I will wonder why I do this. I will mostly love walking. I will practice the walking meditation I learned years ago and walk with the Buddhist Bodhisattva of compassion. Kwan Yin.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanyin
REVolving 
So funny you should write about this. I battle with this same thing! I want to love running and yet every time I attempt it, I am reminded that I hate it. Yet I continually come back to it. What frustrates me most is that I give it a whole hearted attempt each time, and still make no headway. Oh well. Maybe it’s the attempts that matters in the end…
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Yes, All we can do is try and I guess try not to hate it… Thanks for reading.
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