Hello Bloggers and friends,

Life has spun out of control for me this year. Things happen and life feels unkind. In talking to folks I know it seems that many others have had similar experiences this year.  For me it has felt like there has been so much psychological or cosmic rain that all my umbrellas have drifted away and there is no cover to be had. I find myself in an unending storm that keeps knocking me off my feet. Things I believed in, work I loved, colleagues I trusted, those things are gone. I want to believe that what has left is clearing the way for new and wonderful changes, but I’m struggling in what feels like a nether world.  Pretty much these past months I’ve been feeling like one of my metaphorical umbrellas drifting, battered, torn and without purpose. Haven’t wanted to write, haven’t had the words, haven’t wanted to risk.

I’m learning over and over again to take joy in small things. To find shelter in the protective arms of family. Currently, there are few others to trust, but today the sun is shining and in spite of everything the birds keep singing and so I wait. Sticking my toes in the waters of hopeful expectation, tentatively.

One of the small things that has brought so much joy is the discovery that the artist Emitt Rhodes has made a record after 4 decades of silence.  In younger years I’d worn out the two albums, (yes, I’m old) I’d had. Looking for him over the years I tried to find more music, but it seemed like he had disappeared. It seems to me that in reading about him, he has been adrift, lost and sad, for a very long time. It seems like he has not been able to find happiness, until maybe now.  Really hope this is a turning point for him. Anyway, if you’ve heard him long ago, perhaps you were unaware of his new music. I’ve shared my current favorite below. If you haven’t heard him, I hope you’ll listen. Enjoy!





Compassion and Running

Love to walk, do not like running. My body rebels and yet I push it to like running. Why? Something else to master? What happens if I don’t? Nothing. Or maybe I will think I’ve not succeeded at something? Oh well, it happens every day. When will I be happy with me?  This is not a pity/poor me thing. Rather it is a recognition of my need to drive myself to succeed at things. When will I be content?  Where does the restlessness come from? When will being me be enough? All these questions.  Answers changing all the time. Working on self-acceptance. Many have written on this and I have nothing particularly new to add. It is a process and like my thoughts, the process varies day to day. In yoga teacher training we were taught various meditations. In studying I’ve read several variations of this one.

May you and I be healthy.

May you and I be safe.

May you and I be happy.

May you and I live with ease.

These are things that I wish and pray for for my family and friends. These are the things that I wish for all people. These are the things that matter. I will work on running. I will wonder why I do this.  I will mostly love walking. I will practice the walking meditation I learned years ago and walk with the Buddhist Bodhisattva of compassion. Kwan Yin.goddess-1950708_1920kwan-yin-statue-680457_1920